(from October 17, 2005)
Tonight wasn't a terribly good night to be me. All my friends were either away, or busy with other things. Time used to be that being alone was my preferred mode. What has changed? I'm still the same, silly wolfie. I still chew holes in my pants, one leg at a time. I still like to pounce on my friends to let them know how much I treasure them. I don't feel any different.
Or do I? A friend the other day was telling me how many people he knows were getting married, or pregnant, or dead. So many at once, it seemed. We were trying to figure out why the sudden boom in life changes, when he realized "We're just getting older. This is what happens when you live long enough."
I've never minded getting older; have, in fact, relished the idea of increasing my wisdom with age and the experience it brings. It's true, however... as I get older, everyone and thing I love does too, and soon enough I'll have to say goodbye. Goodbye is hard. I don't really know how to do it. When I'm in SL, and I have to leave, I make my farewells to all and sundry, and always hesitate a few moments before logging off, hoping that someone will suddenly say "Akela! Don't leave yet! Stay and play awhile more!" Even if I weren't able to, it'd be nice to be asked. Time marches on, however, and as Jim Morrison says, "No one here gets out alive."
Feh. Sorry about this maudlin tone... I'll be better tomorrow.
I'm on my feet/I'm on the phone/Demanding answers/Maybe I'd better just sit down
-- "Screwed Over By Stylish Introverts", The Loud Family